Three Revelations
by Sati James
Summary: Merlin is forced to reveal his magic and Arthur reacts in the worst way possible. Wracked with guilt and grief as Merlin’s life ebbs away can Arthur fix the nightmare of his own creation? Can be read either way, very deep friendship or very light slash
1. The First Revelation

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin

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**Three Revelations – The First Revelation**

"Come on Merlin! Really you are the worst manservant ever!" Arthur called over his shoulder as he continued to walk back to the horses.

"Sit Merlin, fetch Merlin stay Merlin." The aforementioned manservant grumbled as he staggered along behind carrying the two rabbits and a doe that were the results of Arthur's hunting trip. "I thought that you were going to lay off the hunting for a while after that debacle with the unicorn?" Merlin called out.

Arthur flinched a little as he remembered the terrible consequences his last hunting trip had brought to Camelot. "Yes well Morgana has been interfering again and I needed to get away for a while." He replied testily as he recalled Morgana's latest round of meddling.

"And killing things is the cure for a meddling woman?" Merlin teased his eyes sparkling with mirth as he recalled how Morgana had reduced Arthur to a blushing stuttering mess.

"No but its good fun!" Arthur replied turning back to give Merlin a dazzling grin.

Merlin felt his happiness turn to confusion and fear as Arthur's dazzling grin morphed into a look of fear whilst he brought his crossbow up to a target on Merlin's left. Turning quickly Merlin was just in time to see the crossbow bolt slam into the chest of an assassin, for who else would break cover this deep in the forest and rush at the Crown Prince of Camelot with sword held high?

Arthur took stock of his situation as three more assassins charged out of the tree line, he parried and then plunged his crossbow into the stomach of one and turned to face the other two, they were to close for him to fire and reload before the survivor reached him and they both had their swords held high and could cut him down before he could drop the crossbow and draw his own. Arthur's eyes darted franticly around the clearing searching for some way out of this situation.

His mouth dropped open in horror as he saw the eyes of his manservant, his Merlin, glowing gold as he thrust his hand forward and sent the two assassins flying back into the trees to the sound of heavy impacts and the sickening crunch of broken bones.

Arthur couldn't have cared less, only one thought was running though his head.

_Sorcery_

_Sorcerer _

_Merlin was a sorcerer_

_His Merlin was a sorcerer_

"Arthur?" Merlin's voice was soft and questioning, he had to block it out lest the sorcerer enchant him.

_His __Merlin was a sorcerer_

"Arthur please let me explain." Merlin was begging now but Arthur held firm, he would not let himself be enchanted and bring harm to his people, for that was what sorcerers did to unwary princes who were foolish enough to let them into their lives.

_His Merlin was a sorcerer_

"Arthur!" Merlin's voice was now filled with panic as he raised his hand at Arthur.

_His Merlin was a sorcerer_

Arthur could only morn the fact that his friend had never been a friend at all, had never existed, it had all been a ruse to gain his trust and enchant him and now that it had failed the sorcerer was obviously in fear for his life and had decided to strike first.

_His Merlin was a sorcerer_

Arthur raised his crossbow and fired just as a beam of fiery red magic shot over his shoulder. Arthur frowned and turned around to see what could have put off the sorcerers aim only to see the headless body of the second assassin, the one he had winded earlier and had forgotten about tumble to the floor its sword that had been poised to separate Arthur's head from his shoulders clattering uselessly on the stones underfoot.

"Arthur" Merlin emitted his name in a pained gasp he fell, his eyes filled with betrayal and pain but also with acceptance, as if he had always known that he would die by Arthur's hand. Arthur collapsed brokenly to the floor as the magnitude of his mistake hit him, Merlin could have used his power to deflect the crossbow bolt, he was certain of it but that would have allowed the assassin to decapitate him. Merlin had chosen to save his life, again, even knowing that he would die by the had of the person who's life he saved.

Arthur crawled to the pale body of his manservant, his friend, his Merlin and looked down at the nightmare of his own creation. Merlin's legs had buckled beneath him, his skin was the colour of death so much paler than it's usual cream, his pale pink lips were stained bright red with his own blood. Arthur lowered his head and began to cry. In between Arthurs broken sobs Merlin gave a small cough causing more blood to trickle from his mouth, hardly daring to believe Arthur looked closer and saw that by some miracle his bolt had entered above and to the left of Merlin's heart, on anyone else the wound would be a mortal one but Arthur refused to believe that his sweet, stubborn, annoying, spirited, insubordinate Merlin would let him off that easily.

Arthur scrambled to his feet and ran as fast as he could for the horses the pair had rode out hunting on so that he could get Merlin back to Camelot and into Gaius's care as fast as possible.

Arthur's first revelation was that his Merlin was a sorcerer, and that he didn't care

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	2. The Second Revelation

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Three Revelations – The Second Revelation

Arthur had never ridden so fast in his life, mounted on the aptly named Thunder Arthur had seated Merlin in front of him and held the reins with one hand whilst trying to keep pressure on Merlin's wound with the other, he dared not take the bolt out lest he make things worse and with little else to use Arthur had ended up wrapping his shirt around the bolt and doing the best he could, silently he cursed himself for the white linen shirt was already soaked with blood.

Arthur took comfort from the small cough's and moans of pain Merlin emitted when Thunder leaped over obstacles in their rush to get back to Camelot, it proved that his friend was still alive. "Come on Merlin, hold on for me, we're almost there, its just a little further, you can do it, just hold on a little longer." Arthur kept begging praying fiercely that Merlin would hear him and continue to fight to live if only so he could scream at Arthur asking what right he had to try and comfort him when it was Arthur himself responsible for this mess. Arthur didn't care if Merlin hated him for all eternity, he just wanted his Merlin to live even if that meant he never saw him again. He spurred Thunder on faster as the turrets of Camelot finally came into view.

The guards of Camelot liked to think that they had seen everything in their time, magical creatures, plagues, enemy armies and the Crown Prince and the Kings Ward being thrown in the dungeons with startling regularity. The sight of the Crown Prince ploughing through the market on horseback screaming and cursing at all and sundry to get out of the way was a new one though. As was the bloodied and broken form of the prince's popular, goofy, manservant on the horse with him, obviously the cause of Prince Arthur's desperation. The guards overcame their shock and quickly moved the crowd out of the prince's way whilst two ran to the lower town to find the court physician and inform him that he was needed back at the palace.

Arthur barely noticed the guards clearing the market nor his knights that were scattered throughout the town and palace courtyard, he had room for only one thought.

_Get Merlin to Gaius_

Finally reaching the main doors Arthur refused all offers of help, he lifted his Merlin up and rushed as fast as possible to the court physicians chambers knocking aside anyone who was foolish enough to get in his way. Bursting in Arthur was grateful when one of his knights who had followed him, Sir Bedivere, swept all of the bottles and papers off the large table so that he could gently put Merlin down and start to put pressure on his wound again.

"Where is Gaius?" Arthur hissed as he realised that the kindly old physician was nowhere to be seen.

"He is doing his rounds of the lower town my lord." Sir Bedivere answered. The look of broken desperation Arthur shot him was enough to have him running out the door ready to find the physician and carry him back over his shoulder if it got him there any faster. Sir Bedivere made sure that no one else entered the room as he left, he had been training with Arthur since childhood, yet this was the first time he had seen him cry.

_Come on Arthur get a grip! You are the Crown Prince and weeping and wailing like a woman isn't going to help Merlin _

Arthur thought furiously to himself as fresh tears began to fall, he refused to lose his Merlin now.

_Think man think, you've exhausted all the battlefield healing you can do and Gaius isn't here, what else can you do to try and fix this?_

Abruptly the thought that had created this nightmare flashed across his mind once more.

_His Merlin was a sorcerer_

Arthur left Merlin's side and dashed up the stairs at the back of Gaius's chambers into Merlin's small room and started tearing it apart.

_Come on! come on! It must be here somewhere! There's no way Merlin could keep all his spells in his head, the idiot can't even remember to turn up to work on time, or what outfit to prepare for a banquet, or when he needs to start carrying the water for a bath if its to still be hot, or…_

Arthur stopped and sat down on Merlin's bed, his head dropped into his hands as Merlin's scent brought back even more memories of the goofy idiots mistakes that were so amusing to everyone but the two of them, and if they were honest they were pretty amusing to the two of them as well. Blinking back tears Arthur noticed that one of the floorboards was sticking up slightly.

_Hiding in plain sight? Just like when Morgana told me that she was hiding the druid boy behind the screen__?_

Arthur ripped the floorboard up and gave a joyous exclamation when he found Merlin's magic book beneath. Running back to Merlin's side the joy quickly turned to frustration.

_Of course it would be to much to ask for the book to be indexed, of have any form of order to it __at all, it is Merlin's after all_

Arthur took a moment to look fondly at his friend before resuming his desperate hunt through the book. Finally he found a spell who's description said it was a healing spell. It was basic and weak but Arthur thought that that was probably a good thing as he had no experience spell casting.

"**h****ǣ****la****n" **Arthur whispered raising his hand so that it hovered over Merlin's wound **"h****ǣ****la****n" "h****ǣ****la****n" "h****ǣ****la****n" **he screamed with increasing desperation as nothing happened.

Gaius rushed through the door but Arthur didn't stop for a moment **"h****ǣ****la****n"**

"Merlin" Gaius whispered as he saw the state of his nephew "What happened sire?" he asked completely ignoring the fact that Crown Prince Arthur Pendragon was attempting to do magic within Camelot its self.

"There was an ambush, Merlin was hurt, please Gaius you have to help him." Arthur had never begged before in his life and yet it seemed perfectly natural if it meant that Merlin lived. Shame washed over Arthur as he avoided telling Gaius what really happened but he had to keep Merlin's magic a secret, his father would kill Merlin the instant he found out that Merlin was magical and Arthur refused to be the cause of that even if the guilt from his actions and the shame of hiding them was eating him alive.

"I can't." Gaius moaned in despair as he saw the wound. "As soon as the bolt is removed Merlin will die from shock and blood loss, if we leave it in he'll slowly bleed to death anyway."

"**h****ǣ****la****n" **Arthur screamed again as loud as he could willing with every fibre of his being for the spell to work.

Gaius had stood by when Uther ordered the great purge, he had stood by whilst friends were burnt alive, begging for a quick death in their final moments of agony, he had stood by whilst family members died or were hideously mutilated trying to save them, he stood by until they were all gone. He refused to stand by this time.

"Sire you don't have the talent to do magic, I need you to pull the bolt out when I say so that I can cast the healing spell then I will need you to do exactly as I say as I try and heal him without magic."

"The magic won't heal him completely?" Arthur asked ready to do anything that was necessary to save his friend including covering for the court physician's magical talents as well as Merlin's.

"The spell is to weak and it has been so many years since I practiced magic I dare not use a stronger one lest it not work at all." Gaius replied forestalling Arthur's next question.

Arthur nodded and grabbed the crossbow bolt whilst Gaius dragged up memories he had buried long ago.

Arthur pulled

Merlin screamed

"**h****ǣ****la****n"**

Arthur's second revelation was that his Merlin was more important to him than anything, even his father's approval

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	3. The Third Revelation

Here it is at last, Arthur's third and final revelation. I may write a sequel to this at some point if enough people ask for it and if I think I can do both the characters and the actors justice, so maybe not :~

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**Three Revelations – The Third**** Revelation**

"That is all that can be done sire." Gaius said to the nearly catatonic Crown Prince of Camelot as he finished bandaging Merlin's left shoulder and chest.

"Is he going to be alright?" Arthur whispered never taking his eyes off his friend's, his Merlin's, pale face.

"If he makes it through the night he will make a complete recovery." Gaius spoke with difficulty. "But he is still very weak and he has lost a lot of blood as well…" Gaius trailed off unable to complete the sentence, Arthur nodded.

"Can you help me move him closer to the fire sire?" Gaius asked as the last rays of the sun shone through the window. Arthur looked at him questioningly. "The best chance Merlin has is to be kept warm and hydrated so what little blood he has left is kept moving." Gaius explained.

Arthur looked around the physicians chambers.

_I've never noticed how uncomfortable they are before_

He noticed the tiny fireplace, the ill fitting windows and the bare stone floors and walls, the room was draughty and freezing at night and Merlin's own room was worse! It didn't even have a fireplace! Quite how Merlin stopped himself from freezing to death normally Arthur had no idea. In his current state however Arthur had no doubt that such conditions would make his death a virtual certainty.

_Well he's not staying here, if Merlin needs to be warm, comfortable and well looked after then I am going to be the one to do it. I will fix this!_

"I'll take him to my chambers." Arthur commanded as he gently picked the frail body of his friend up off the table.

"Sire?" Gaius asked shocked.

"My chambers are warmer, I'm not going to spare anything that might make the difference between life and…and…." Arthur choked, not even able to whisper the dreaded word he turned and walked swiftly towards his own chambers, the most precious and delicate thing in all the world held safely in his arms.

Sir Bedivere paced outside his Prince's room hating what he was about to do but having no choice in the matter, he knocked and entered before Prince Arthur could command whoever was at the door to leave as he surely would. The room was hot, the fire blazing as if it was mid winter. Arthur sat on the bed with Merlin, his manservant's head rested gently in his lap and he was quietly dabbing at the bandages with a damp cloth to keep the wound from drying out. A small cup was in his other hand.

"Come on Merlin, just a little sip, that's it." Arthur said softly as Merlin automatically took a little sip from the offered cup even though he was still unconscious. Gently replacing the cup Arthur turned slowly to face Sir Bedivere, careful not to disturb Merlin who's head was still nestled in his lap "What do you want?" Arthur spat his tone like ice.

Sir Bedivere gulped noticing the tear tracks on his Prince's face and the way his arms curled protectively around the wounded manservant. "Sire the King requests your presence immediately, he has learned of the ambush and wishes your report in person."

"No"

The one word answer was exactly what Sir Bedivere was afraid of. "Sire, Arthur, the King was most insistent." He said making sure to keep his voice low, he to liked his Prince's goofy manservant and didn't want to upset his recovery.

"I have told you about the ambush in detail Bedivere." Arthur replied softly, his anger at the knight melting in the face of his obvious concern for Merlin. "You can tell him everything that he needs to know and then inform him that I will explain the rest over breakfast tomorrow morning."

Sir Bedivere looked like he would rather face a Questing Beast alone and unarmed than deliver that news to Uther but he bowed respectively and exited the room.

Arthur resumed gently dabbing the bandages, unconsciously his other hand played with Merlin's hair as his mind continued to race. "Please be alright Merlin." He whispered softly. "Please stay with me."

_Yeh like he wi__ll want to, I shot him with a crossbow! While he was trying to save my life! I'll be lucky if he doesn't spit in my face and leave Camelot forever! Of course he has to be alive to do that which would mean I'd be jumping for joy anyway but still. Oh Merlin how could I have believed that you were going to harm me? After all we've been through together? All the times you've saved my life?_

Inwardly Arthur admitted that Merlin had saved his life in more than the traditional sense. Before he had arrived Arthur had been more and more depressed and angry, the weight of his duty was slowly crushing him and he had no release, no one to help him. Morgana and he were to different to be in the same room without trying to kill each other, his father cared nothing for his emotions nor his behaviour when he was out of the public eye and everyone else was either terrified of him or a spineless brown nosing boot licker.

_Merlin was never like that_

Arthur smiled, his eyes beginning to water again as he remembered so many little things. He had been trying to find boundaries in his personal life and finding none he had been trying to self destruct. To do anything to make someone, anyone, stand up to him, to make him FEEL something! Anything except numbness and duty.

_Merlin stood up to me. He stopped me__ throwing knives at a terrified peasant when the peasant wouldn't even stand up for himself. Yes I sentenced him to the stocks but it was such a thrill, the anger the embarrassment, it made me feel alive again. Merlin answers back, he says no, he calls me a royal prat and insults me…_

Arthur continued to run through everything he loved about Merlin but it could all be boiled down to one sentence.

_He treats me like Arthur, like a person, not a Prince who must be obeyed and fawned over_

Arthur wanted boundaries, Merlin gave them to him. Arthur wanted someone to stand up to him and remind him that he was a person not an emotionless puppet and Merlin did that in spades.

_My life was meaningless before you stumbled into it_

Arthur was having a very difficult time holding back tears as he was once more hit with the consequences of his mistake.

_Merlin has been everything I needed to fill the void, to help me shoulder the immense wei__ght of my duty. He never had to. He never had to save my life, he never had to stand up to me. Even when father made him my manservant he still didn't have to help me carry this load, this crushing responsibility. But he didn't even ask, he just waltzed in and took half of the load.. He made it so that I could feel alive again. Everything he's done, all the pain he's gone through for me and I've repaid him by killing him. Merlin I'm sorry! I'm so so sorry!" _

Arthur's body began to shake with repressed sobs as the guilt and shame came back full force, eating him alive as he looked down and saw his pale and broken manservant. No quirky smile was on his lips, no tender insults to remind him what a prat he was being, just a cold and broken body in constant pain and all because he, Arthur, had thought that his Merlin was going to kill him. The guilt trebled as he realised the ridiculousness of that. Even if Merlin was a sorcerer he had had thousands of opportunities to do harm to Arthur, Uther, even Camelot in it's entirety and he had never taken any of them.

_He never took any of them no__ matter how difficult staying here was and yet I betrayed him at the first sign that our friendship would not be plain sailing_

The guilt faded to be replaced with the slow burning of shame and self loathing. From their intensity Arthur decided that this was probably what it felt like to be burnt at the stake.

All in all Arthur was actually glad for the distraction that the door slamming open offered him. Carefully sliding Merlin into a sitting position against the headboard Arthur turned round ready to unleash his full fury against the person who was foolish enough to disturb them.

His father beat him to it.

"When I command you come to me immediately I expect you to obey! Or have you forgotten who's court your in?" Uther thundered.

"Merlin was gravely injured saving my life, AGAIN, and he may not survive the night so you will have to excuse me if I find his life more important that telling you what you have already heard from Bedivere!" Arthur thundered back, his temper was far more difficult to rouse than Uther's but when he did get angry no one could tell the difference between father and son.

"You refuse my command for a servant??!!" Uther screamed incredulously.

"I refuse your command for my friend!" Arthur screamed back.

"He is just a servant. He is NOT your friend!" Uther tried to get his temper under control lest the two of them come to blows

"And Le Fay was just a knight and not yours?" Arthur replied quietly, his voice may have been back to normal but his ice blue eyes showed the intensity of his fury.

"That is completely different." Uther replied taken off balance by Arthur bringing up things from before he was even born.

"How? Le Fay was simply a knight, he had no right to talk back to you, to defy you, to make you realise that you were still a person as well as a king."

"He was my advisor he had every right!"

"Then as soon as I take the throne I shall make Merlin mine!"

Uther was shocked to stillness by that declaration, it was the same as the one he had issued to his own father decades ago, the one his wife Igrane had whispered as the solution to what his father saw as Le Fay's disrespect of Crown Prince Uther Pendragon. Now more than ever he saw is heart, his all, his Igrane in the face of his son. Arthur favoured her in looks he had known that for years but the fierce protectiveness his son was radiating reminded him so much of his beloved wife he had to leave the room before he broke down.

"We will speak more of this tomorrow." Uther declared as regally as he could before retreating out of the door.

Arthur was stunned, he had been prepared to fight and be thrown in the dungeons, he had not expected to make his father back down.

"Did you mean it?" Arthur whipped around to face the bed, Merlin's eyes were open. They were his usual cobalt blue and glistening with unshed tears but now that he looked closely Arthur could still see flecks of gold. He could still see the magic that was as much a part of his friend, his Merlin, as breathing was.

"Did you mean it?" Merlin pleaded brokenly.

Arthur realised that Merlin had never expected to wake up again. Even if he did he was probably certain that Prince Arthur would stand by and watch as the evil sorcerer Merlin was burned alive.

Arthur flew to the bed and pulled his Merlin to him in a tight embrace.

"Merlin I'm sorry!" Arthur whispered quietly into his friends ear "I'm so so sorry! I don't care that you're a sorcerer! I'll keep your secret! I tried to use your magic book to heal you but the spells wouldn't work for me. I was so afraid that you wouldn't wake up, that you would leave me, that I would never get to tell you how sorry I am, and how much I want you to stay."

"You tried to use magic to save me? Merlin gasped disbelievingly.

"I couldn't get the spell to work." Arthur admitted brokenly. "I tried and tried, I willed it with everything I have but the spell just wouldn't work. I had to get Gaius to do it."

Merlin was still stunned that Arthur had tried to use magic to save him. That more than anything including standing up to Uther and keeping his secret revealed to him how sorry Arthur was, and how much he meant to him. "It's alright, you tried and that's what matters." Merlin whispered back. "Do I still have a place here?"

"I don't know how you can still look at me." Arthur replied his voice heavy with sorrow. "But you're my friend, my soul, my all, my Merlin. Your welcome here as long as you want to stay."

Merlin felt the rush of pleasure and love accelerate his healing, Arthur knew about his magic and he was still his friend. "I'm happy to be your servant until the day I die." Merlin declared sleepily as his wound caught up with him.

Arthur leaned in and pressed a kiss to the forehead of his friend, his Merlin. He couldn't believe how innocent and pure Merlin's heart was, to forgive him so readily and to stay with him after all that had happened. "Sleep Merlin." He ordered. "I'll watch over you, no harm will come to you as long as I live, I swear it."

Arthur laid them both down on the bed and pulled his Merlin into a tight embrace, watching as his cobalt blue eyes closed in a peaceful sleep.

Arthur's third revelation was that he loved Merlin, and he never wanted to let him go

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	4. A Sequel of Sorts

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A sequel of sorts to this story is now up. It takes place in the Three Revelations universe but does not directly follow on from this and can be read in its own right. I hope you will enjoy it.

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**Destiny Is What We Make It**

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